I am the better part of valor

Ah fair discretion. I have slain thee countless times. Why dost thou haunt me? Maybe because that way sanity lies, to flip the famous King Lear line. I have never been one for tempered behavior when enthusiasm is so much more fun. But...seventeen miles today instead of the 40-50 I was planning; 110 miles for the week; a run yesterday while the family biked with me; and a weigh-in of 267 flat this morning. Today I am going to EAT...and drink lots of water. Not too shabby!

Ice Cube had it right

Today was not expected to be a good day. As with most bad days, the groundwork was laid the night before. I was out Wednesday night bidding farewell to a friend and co-worker on his way to Afghanistan. He's going voluntarily. He's doing with his youth what should be done; collect the experiences that will shape the rest of your life. I will miss him. So in the course of the evening I ate two dinners and tipped back three Labatt Blue's. I doubt you'll find that on offer at the WeightWatchers website. Sure enough, I was up a pound and a half this morning. I had scheduled a half-day because I had Piano Guild in the afternoon. When that was finished at 3:45, I checked in with a tired family that assented to my afternoon ride. And this is where the incontrovertible goal made sure the ride happened. I think I've stated in previous posts that I consider this a 'must,' not an option. The rational part of my mind understands that this is somewhat silly, but that part stays quiet because all of the short-term benefits have satisfied its desire for sense and order. Log 36 miles, and some mental toughness training while riding into stout side- and headwinds. Pretty good day.

Back to 40

Big jump in mileage this evening. I did 40 miles for the first time in a long time. With less than ten rides, I may be asking for an injury, but who dares, wins. Right? Of course, the 40-mile ride is just a waypoint on this particular journey, but the number 40 has always held some fascination for me. It's like anything less than that is just fooling around. Once you start logging 40-milers, it's an indication you're serious about the play. Of course, to push these jumps in mileage, I really have to carb up. It flies in the face of all the fad diet crap that dominates the bookshelves, airwaves, and Internet. I had pancakes for breakfast. Rice and chicken for lunch, and mashed potatoes for dinner. I wonder what I'll weigh tomorrow. It's kind of fun using my body as a test lab.

These magic moments aka "the small hours" credit to Rob Thomas

Particularly upbeat this morning. The scale flashed 271.8, nearly ten pounds down since I started two weeks ago. The jumps at the beginning are always larger. It will get much harder as the pounds continue to come off and the weeks roll by. I know my motivation will flag. I will have days of weight gain or no change which will be hard to take especially if I am following my diet. And being the creature of the Now that I am, recent data looms large in my psyche. It's killed entire seasons of cycling. That would be tragic if I believed in constancy. But I don't. Don't get me wrong I think it's admirable, and I'll need to use it if I want to reach this goal. But what I believe is that life is lived for a series of moments. Mind you, the moments cannot be made, only experienced for the fleeting seconds that they survive. I've never understood the outsized celebrations following a championship; be it the World Cup, Super Bowl, Tour de France victory, whatever... They seem to represent the constancy of near-perfection. Phooey! The execution in the heat of battle is the pinnacle of achievement. Everything that follows is self-indulgent whether for personal satisfaction or monetary gain. Give me the choice between a moment in a head's up sprint where the outcome has yet to be decided versus a moment on the top step of the podium, and I'll take the sprint every time. Hell, make it a moment of an interval four months before the race, and I'll take that too. Given that frame of mind, this will be a long, hard slog. It is these moments that will get me through.

It's just like riding a bike.

Originally written on 5/15/12:

Eighteen miles last night on the bike. As the body adjusts I am reminded again the part of my body that will complain the longest and the loudest is my back. For background, I was born with scoliosis. For the most part it does not bother me, and any pain is usually negligible. It does hinder my ability to play basketball, my second favorite sport. The situation is not helped by the owner of the back who will not do the requisite core work to strengthen the surrounding muscles. On the upside, my position on the bike is coming back to me. It's an oddly pleasurable feeling when you rediscover your form after a long layoff. It's like riding with a governor on your engine and then suddenly, it's gone. Comfort and power are delivered at once. As I lengthened my back out over the bike, and adjusted the angle of my hips on the saddle, a circuit closed in my head. Even with my enormous gut I was able to ride in the drops for a few minutes comfortably. My legs felt like they had more room and the ability to turn circles improved. It's such a shame that I ever forget something like that. Perhaps I am beginning to figure out why I am not a happier person.

One week in...

Originally written on 5/14/12:

Another Monday; a chance to take stock of last week and come up with a plan of attack for this week. I lost five pounds over the preceding week. Not bad though being the first five pounds to lose with nearly 100 pounds to lose it's significantly less effort than the 5% of the desired weight loss it represents. Frankly, one hearty BM could account though that's just a guess because I'm not weighing it. I don't care that much. I want three rides and a run this week. Rides should be 18 - 26 miles and a run of 3 - 3.5 miles. Still have yet to take a drink of soda.

I'll have to check the previous blog entries to see if I've already talked about this. I know that I succumb to the lure of instant gratification far more often than I should. Nothing represents that more completely than drinking soda. I know that soda is empty calories. I've seen the 60 Minutes where a doctor describes sugar as cancer's favorite food. I get headaches and a stiff neck within an hour of drinking soda. And yet I've had a hell of a time kicking the habit. I ignore all that I know about soda for the ice-cold carbonated, candied euphoria that occurs when glass meets lips. What sort of devilry is at work?

This morning completes the first full week of training; 3 bike rides and a run. Not great but considering it is ex nihilo I'm not too terribly disappointed. Today's ride was 22 miles in 1:20. Again, not great, but I have to start somewhere. The last few miles of the ride was not easy. The supporting muscles (core mostly) had lost their strength; unpleasant and instructive. Suffering for the sake of something other than suffering is demonstrably worthwhile.

As an aside the weight loss has started slowly but evenly. Three pounds lost week. I think the increase in physical activity and removal of soda from my diet are entirely responsible.

Random musings

Originally composed on 5/10/12:

The biggest challenge at this stage is training my body to ride and run again. The stress on my hands, shoulders, back, and feet is significant; partly a function of my weight and partly relearning how to pedal circles. I rode for an hour last night, and already I notice a big improvement from Saturday. I ran on Sunday night after a two hour nap, and then took off Monday and Tuesday as the feet were complaining. Which brings another thought to mind...I have to hope that my body can physically handle the mileage jumps that I'm going to be throwing at it. The experts tell you to bump it up 10% at a time and I'm sure they have very good reasons for doing that, but I will not be following that advice. My jumps will be more like 20-50%. Even with 13 months to prepare I don't have the time to ease my mileage up. My thinking is that I need to get to 150 miles a day as quickly as my body can handle it. Once there, I have to test my kit (which adds weight). I have to determine how many calories I need, how many hours of sleep do I need, and how my body recovers from multi-day efforts of 150-225 miles.

I just ran the numbers on mileage increases and I may have overestimated. Starting with a base of 20 miles/day and bumping by 10% every week I'll be at 148 miles/day by the end of September. That's not too far off where I would like to be. I guess it's still pretty aggressive as I'm pretty sure you're supposed take a break every month or so to let your body adapt for a week to the increases.

Goal-setting has been in my head since committing to the GDMBR. It's probably not possible to stay focused for the next 13 months with just that singular goal. Frankenbike is around Labor Day and is on my radar. TOSRV in May is something I've always wanted to do. That leaves a huge hole from mid-September through April. I think this might be the year to get into cyclo-cross. Maybe run the Columbus marathon.

I wish I was more committed to collecting data points. I think it would be interesting to chart the change in lifestyle. Some of the more interesting data points in my opinion; weight, resting heart rate, calorie intake, mileage for running and biking, and hours of TV viewing. Alas, I just do not possess that level of attention to detail for more than a few days.

More about getting started

I'm heavy. Heavy enough that any extended exercise that involves running around will eventually result in foot and ankle problems. My estimate is that I need to lose 94 pounds. I am about 280 pounds. Through my twenties I was under 200 pounds, and my best endurance results were achieved when I was in the 180's. For the record, I'm 6'4". So 186 is the goal. That would give me a BMI of 22 which according to several esteemed Internet sources is the optimal BMI for staying healthy.

Despite the foot and ankle discomfort I mentioned I have begun to increase the physical activity; a run on Thursday, bike ride on Saturday, and another run on Sunday. I am slow, and the distance is laughable when compared to the goal, but it is a beginning. I have a tendency to overtrain when I set a goal for myself, ignoring my body's warnings to slow down, recover, sleep. With age I know I have lost some ability, but I hope to have gained some wisdom. Yesterday I took a nap in the afternoon. For me that is unheard of so maybe it is a sign of wisdom. We'll see.

Starting conditions

How far am I from being able to attempt the challenge? Pretty far, if I'm being completely honest. Setting a goal like this isn't really about honesty though. Or reality. It's about knowing what's beyond the horizon. It's about knowing something that can't be known. Perhaps because of intellect, experience, geography, or time the metaphorical path I need to find won't be immediately recognizable. That's the first challenge. I will have accomplished a lot if I just make it to the starting line in Banff. So here is the first starting line; a 280-pound, former roadie, couch potato must become an expert mountain biker with the stamina and courage of Pheidippides...in 13 months. That's a little too much reality. I'm just going to go ride.

Why am I blogging?

Like most people that start blogging with no intention of becoming a journalist, I am intent on making a life change and turning it into performance art. I'm 60% joking. I am on the fence about how personal I will get. I really don't want to be an attention whore. In fact, I have no goals for this blog other than to put my intentions down as a digital line in the sand. Simply put, did I do what I said I was going to do? And what am I going to do? Complete the Great Divide Mountain Bike Race commencing June 1, 2013. Check out the details here. It's a big ask, but I think I can do it. The race itself is only maybe half the challenge. This will require a lifestyle change for me and my family. Allocations of time, money, and effort all have to be rethought. At this point, all I know is this is exactly what I want to do, and I'm prepared to put the next 13 months towards that solitary goal. Let the adventure begin.