I am the better part of valor

Ah fair discretion. I have slain thee countless times. Why dost thou haunt me? Maybe because that way sanity lies, to flip the famous King Lear line. I have never been one for tempered behavior when enthusiasm is so much more fun. But...seventeen miles today instead of the 40-50 I was planning; 110 miles for the week; a run yesterday while the family biked with me; and a weigh-in of 267 flat this morning. Today I am going to EAT...and drink lots of water. Not too shabby!

Ice Cube had it right

Today was not expected to be a good day. As with most bad days, the groundwork was laid the night before. I was out Wednesday night bidding farewell to a friend and co-worker on his way to Afghanistan. He's going voluntarily. He's doing with his youth what should be done; collect the experiences that will shape the rest of your life. I will miss him. So in the course of the evening I ate two dinners and tipped back three Labatt Blue's. I doubt you'll find that on offer at the WeightWatchers website. Sure enough, I was up a pound and a half this morning. I had scheduled a half-day because I had Piano Guild in the afternoon. When that was finished at 3:45, I checked in with a tired family that assented to my afternoon ride. And this is where the incontrovertible goal made sure the ride happened. I think I've stated in previous posts that I consider this a 'must,' not an option. The rational part of my mind understands that this is somewhat silly, but that part stays quiet because all of the short-term benefits have satisfied its desire for sense and order. Log 36 miles, and some mental toughness training while riding into stout side- and headwinds. Pretty good day.

Back to 40

Big jump in mileage this evening. I did 40 miles for the first time in a long time. With less than ten rides, I may be asking for an injury, but who dares, wins. Right? Of course, the 40-mile ride is just a waypoint on this particular journey, but the number 40 has always held some fascination for me. It's like anything less than that is just fooling around. Once you start logging 40-milers, it's an indication you're serious about the play. Of course, to push these jumps in mileage, I really have to carb up. It flies in the face of all the fad diet crap that dominates the bookshelves, airwaves, and Internet. I had pancakes for breakfast. Rice and chicken for lunch, and mashed potatoes for dinner. I wonder what I'll weigh tomorrow. It's kind of fun using my body as a test lab.

These magic moments aka "the small hours" credit to Rob Thomas

Particularly upbeat this morning. The scale flashed 271.8, nearly ten pounds down since I started two weeks ago. The jumps at the beginning are always larger. It will get much harder as the pounds continue to come off and the weeks roll by. I know my motivation will flag. I will have days of weight gain or no change which will be hard to take especially if I am following my diet. And being the creature of the Now that I am, recent data looms large in my psyche. It's killed entire seasons of cycling. That would be tragic if I believed in constancy. But I don't. Don't get me wrong I think it's admirable, and I'll need to use it if I want to reach this goal. But what I believe is that life is lived for a series of moments. Mind you, the moments cannot be made, only experienced for the fleeting seconds that they survive. I've never understood the outsized celebrations following a championship; be it the World Cup, Super Bowl, Tour de France victory, whatever... They seem to represent the constancy of near-perfection. Phooey! The execution in the heat of battle is the pinnacle of achievement. Everything that follows is self-indulgent whether for personal satisfaction or monetary gain. Give me the choice between a moment in a head's up sprint where the outcome has yet to be decided versus a moment on the top step of the podium, and I'll take the sprint every time. Hell, make it a moment of an interval four months before the race, and I'll take that too. Given that frame of mind, this will be a long, hard slog. It is these moments that will get me through.

It's just like riding a bike.

Originally written on 5/15/12:

Eighteen miles last night on the bike. As the body adjusts I am reminded again the part of my body that will complain the longest and the loudest is my back. For background, I was born with scoliosis. For the most part it does not bother me, and any pain is usually negligible. It does hinder my ability to play basketball, my second favorite sport. The situation is not helped by the owner of the back who will not do the requisite core work to strengthen the surrounding muscles. On the upside, my position on the bike is coming back to me. It's an oddly pleasurable feeling when you rediscover your form after a long layoff. It's like riding with a governor on your engine and then suddenly, it's gone. Comfort and power are delivered at once. As I lengthened my back out over the bike, and adjusted the angle of my hips on the saddle, a circuit closed in my head. Even with my enormous gut I was able to ride in the drops for a few minutes comfortably. My legs felt like they had more room and the ability to turn circles improved. It's such a shame that I ever forget something like that. Perhaps I am beginning to figure out why I am not a happier person.

One week in...

Originally written on 5/14/12:

Another Monday; a chance to take stock of last week and come up with a plan of attack for this week. I lost five pounds over the preceding week. Not bad though being the first five pounds to lose with nearly 100 pounds to lose it's significantly less effort than the 5% of the desired weight loss it represents. Frankly, one hearty BM could account though that's just a guess because I'm not weighing it. I don't care that much. I want three rides and a run this week. Rides should be 18 - 26 miles and a run of 3 - 3.5 miles. Still have yet to take a drink of soda.

I'll have to check the previous blog entries to see if I've already talked about this. I know that I succumb to the lure of instant gratification far more often than I should. Nothing represents that more completely than drinking soda. I know that soda is empty calories. I've seen the 60 Minutes where a doctor describes sugar as cancer's favorite food. I get headaches and a stiff neck within an hour of drinking soda. And yet I've had a hell of a time kicking the habit. I ignore all that I know about soda for the ice-cold carbonated, candied euphoria that occurs when glass meets lips. What sort of devilry is at work?

This morning completes the first full week of training; 3 bike rides and a run. Not great but considering it is ex nihilo I'm not too terribly disappointed. Today's ride was 22 miles in 1:20. Again, not great, but I have to start somewhere. The last few miles of the ride was not easy. The supporting muscles (core mostly) had lost their strength; unpleasant and instructive. Suffering for the sake of something other than suffering is demonstrably worthwhile.

As an aside the weight loss has started slowly but evenly. Three pounds lost week. I think the increase in physical activity and removal of soda from my diet are entirely responsible.